Tag Archives: love

The Relationship between San Pasqual & The Oriental Cranes

There is a phenomenon in Feng Shui that occurs when we are too close to a thing to see it clearly.  We become blind to the things that we notice in our daily surroundings and that is one of the benefits of hiring a professional to analyze a space.  A Feng Shui consultant is able to see the items that have become invisible to our clients.  We are not attached so these things pop out at us.  I know all this and yet, I recently noticed something in my own home that I had never noticed before.  As is usually the case, now that I have made the connection, I have made a swift and non-negotiable decision to let them go.

It occurred to me recently that I have been taking the same artwork along with me to every single place that I have lived since my divorce way back in 2002.  One of my favorites was of two Japanese cranes hand-painted on silk.  In East Asia, cranes are symbols of love, happiness, marital fidelity and longevity that mate for life.

Each time I moved, I made sure to hang the cranes in one of the many relationship areas that can be found in a home, and I have always loved it.  I felt like it was a beautiful symbol of what I should want, a permanent mate for life.  I say it is something that I feel like I should want because this is the message that society teaches and preaches.  We should want to get married, have a family and grow old together.  Coming from parents who divorced when I was five, and then getting divorced myself, this idea of relationships has often felt just out of reach for me.

One day, I was standing near the kitchen and for the first time, I noticed the stark dichotomy of the art on my walls.  On the wall opposite the cranes was a framed poster of a whimsical drawing of the Patron Saint of the Kitchen, also known as San Pasqual.  This piece has been in my kitchen as a faithful companion almost as long as the cranes.  However, for the first time, I actually looked at the scene with fresh eyes.  I don’t know a lot about monks, but I do know that they do not typically get married or have intimate partnerships.

In the print, the monk is standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking outward away from the viewer with a halo of sorts around his head. The kitchen behind him is full of pies, fresh loaves of bread and cats.   The cranes and the monk do not go together.  They are sending mixed messages about this area of my life.  It was truly a holy shit kind of moment!  It’s times like these that I just really get goosebumps about the power of Feng Shui.  It reflects the subconscious like no other healing system I know.

Within moments, I had taken San Pasqual off the wall.   As much as I like my alone time, I am not interested in being the poster child of pious solitude.  It has been a few weeks since San Pasqual left.  I can already feel the shift.  At first, the walls looked forlorn and empty.  Now, they are like a clean slate where anything is possible.  The beauty of life is that we are the creators of it.  We are not at the mercy of the unfortunate events that have led up to this moment in our personal evolution.  Feng Shui is powerful medicine when you are ready to shine a light on your shadow self.  Are you ready?



Power Tools That Create Powerful Feng Shui

I had every intention of getting this written yesterday on the power day of 11-11-11 (2018 breaks down to an 11 when you add it all together), but it was pouring snow and I was busy doing the space clearing that I am about to recommend to all of you.  I have written about space clearings in the past, but not about the quadruple threat of using sage, sweet grass, Palo Santo wood, and juniper.

First, let me explain the benefits of yesterday’s energy.  It is primarily significant because of all the 1’s.  According to Joanne Sacred Scribes Angel Numbers, when we notice the number 1111, we are at a point where our thoughts are manifesting into our reality more quickly than before.  We must pay attention to what we are thinking when we notice them.  Some consider this a type of spiritual awakening to a higher level of consciousness.  For more information, check out Joanne’s blog at http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com

To begin any type of ceremony using Feng Shui, it is good to take a few moments to center and ground yourself into the present moment.  Often, we become overwhelmed and our energy gets scattered.  We don’t even realize how scattered we are until we pause long enough to draw our energy in and ground it down.  Find a place to sit, close your eyes and take a deep breath.  I like to do the mind-calming mudra along with the mind-calming mantra. I couldn’t find a photo of it online that I liked, so I took my own below.  The mantra goes something like this:

Gatay Gatay, Para Gatay, Para Sam Gatay, Bodhi Swaha. I say this 9 times while visualizing my energy returning to me.

Once you are mentally prepared and you have all your ceremony ingredients, it’s a good idea to verbally say a little protection prayer.  The one I like using is from the Pensacola Paranormal Society and is used with permission:

“Mother, Father, God, I command that all negative energy and energy that is not conducive to my well-being be removed through this process. If there are any attached spirits to this home, I evoke Archangel Michael to use his sword to remove them and their tie to this place. I ask for your protection and guidance in the process. Thank you, it is done, it is done, it is done.”

The next thing to do is to crack all the doors and windows in the area that you are cleansing. Then, light up your sage.  I like to use sage first because it clears the vibe of a place. Scientifically, sage removes the bacteria out of the air, and spiritually, it has been used in the form of “smudging” to clear the negative energy out or off of a person, place or thing.  As mentioned above, intention is important, so add your desired outcome into this equation and you will be all set to move on to the next item in your space clearing toolbox.

I do not know if there is a set order in which these things need to be done, but I allowed my intuition to guide me, and it chose the Palo Santo wood next.  This is an item that I only recently discovered.  It offers energetic protection, removes bad energy, uplifts emotions and fills a home with blessings.  The smoke from Palo Santo soothes the energy of a space and adds an additional layer of support and protection.

Say the following intention/prayer outloud when you light the end of the wood:  “I ask that the plant spirit of Palo Santo please infuse this space with blessings.”

The next tool I used was a dried bunch of Juniper leaves.  At the time, I did not know what a workhorse this herb truly is, so I especially want to share it with you here. “Used in purification ceremonies, burning Juniper washes away doubt, hesitation, hostility and judgement. Waft the fragrance of burning Juniper throughout the home to cleanse and protect against negativity.” (https://www.energymuse.com/juniper-smudge-stick.html). You can use it in combination with other smudging herbs as I did, or on its own, especially if you are depleted or unmotivated.  It is all about abundance and good luck, and we can all benefit from extra in those departments.

The final herb that I used is my absolute favorite!  Even its name tells its secrets.  Sweetgrass is often braided and dried and used to attract positive energies.  It has a vanilla, fennel type of scent that sweetens the air and reminds us that we are sacred humans playing a game with energy.

I included physical intentions by adding Young Living oils in the form of Abundance and Joy (self-explanatory), a hefty chunk of Rose Quartz because it symbolizes love and the attraction of more of it into our lives.  The Amethyst encourages healing, trust and intuition. Citrine is an amazing stone that is one of only two that never needs to be cleansed.  Instead it transmutes and dissipates it instead.  It enhances willpower, and aligns the chakras which can get out of alignment faster than newly balanced tires! The last crystal I used was a clear quartz wand.  Clear Quartz is an amplifier and when combined with everything else in my space clearing toolbox, it is the final piece of the puzzle needed to tune into the higher energy of our homes.

The rules of life are easier to follow than we realize.  We are powerful creators who have forgotten the power of our thoughts, and these space clearing tools can act to remind us of our divinity and strength.  It’s time to wake up and remember who we really are.

Re-Starting the Single Life With Feng Shui

I’ve been helping people understand and use Feng Shui design concepts for over 15 years, and during all of these years, I have never had anyone intentionally use Feng Shui to remain single, until now.  A few months ago, I ended a four-year relationship that had become somewhat toxic and simply wasn’t meeting my needs.   After it ended, I was a little shell-shocked by its suddenness, even though I was the one who initiated it.  That was when I realized that I needed to undo some things that I had done in my home, when a relationship was part of my life.

Love & relationships are one of the most popular reasons that people become interested in Feng Shui, but using it to undo a relationship was new to me.  In my case, I wanted to create a space for healing; one that would allow me to re-align with my truest self, my needs and my desires.  Considering that Mercury just went Retrograde on the 19th, this is the perfect time to reAssess and the perfect time to make changes.  If you are unfamiliar with the dynamics of Mercury Retrograde, I can tell you that it is a time to reView, reEvaluate, reCharge & reCreate.  It is not a time to start brand new ideas, businesses, or new relationships.

Since not everyone has an in-depth understanding of all the Feng Shui rules surrounding relationships, I’d like to share a more intuitive approach. If you find yourself in a position of un-coupling, I’d like to invite you to walk around your home and intuitively look around.  You may also want to have a storage tote or two within reach. Does anything pop out as a reminder of your former love?  Do you still have photographs of the two of you displayed or hanging on the wall?  Go ahead and remove them.  There is nothing worse after a breakup than constantly being bombarded with reminders of all the good times that you had with your lover.  You aren’t going to burn them or anything, you are merely putting them in a safe space, as you would with any precious memory.

For me, this was particularly challenging because my former love was very handy with tools and he often made me hand-crafted gifts and mementos which were sprinkled everywhere around my home.  I took some of them down, but some are just there forever, like a dragonfly caught in amber, to be admired and loved in spite of everything else.

Once I was satisfied with this step, I decided to intentionally look at the right hand corner of every single room in my home.  This included the bathroom, the kitchen, the closets, everything.  Since I use Feng Shui daily, I knew I wouldn’t find any trash cans, litter boxes or spiky cacti plants in these areas, but I did find several examples of artwork and decor with couples.  In their place, I am searching for art that reflects my new relationship status.

I love to paint, and so after my relationship ended, I added a gorgeous accent wall in my bedroom, and moved the bed. With these changes in place, my room feels totally different than it had been, so the memories involving my former love have been dissolved a little.  Now every time I walk into my bedroom, I am instantly happy.

If you were married to your former love, I’d like to suggest that you put away the champagne glasses that you used to toast your marriage, and maybe even relocate the fine china that you had displayed, but never used.  If your bed has been in the same place for the entire length of your relationship, why not move it like I did.  In fact, I have an even more radical idea, get a new mattress!  When you consider how much time we usually spend in our beds with the one we love, the idea of a new mattress is very appealing.  A fresh start can be the best start, and a new bed is always a good idea when a long relationship ends.

Since my goal is to RE-member my value and reconnect with the Divine Feminine that I am and always have been, I replaced the relationship “cures” that I had originally set up, with images, art and decor that help empower me as a woman.   Luckily, I already have some really cool items that I simply moved around to anchor this desire.  A few years ago, one of my yoga students gave me a figure of a woman sitting alone in meditation.  I had originally placed her in my home’s Life Journey area because she represented my interest and use of meditation to know myself.  During my intuition walk, I felt like a better place for her would be in one of my relationship areas.  Now when I see her, I am reminded of my intention to reflect on my journey through my relationships and remember my value, desires and goals.

Another example might include replacing a love seat with a soft and inviting one-person chair.  Think of all the awesome, cozy chairs that you see at coffee shops, and consider investing in one or moving an existing one into an area of your home that currently has a love seat. Do you ever notice that those single seat chairs are the most sought-after at your local coffee shop?  There is a reason for that!

The examples are endless, and limited only by our ability to know what we want and create accordingly.  Our most intelligent guide is how a thing makes us feel when we see it.  Does it align with who you are or who you want to be?  Does it make you feel happy and at peace?  Or does it make you angry or full of fear and uncertainty?  A little bit of Feng Shui and a whole lot of honesty and willingness to move forward are your best tools to healing and creating the life of your dreams.  You simply need to trust your feelings and go from there.  This too shall pass, and when it does, you will know exactly what you do and don’t need in order to create the next, best and highest version of you.

Converting a Feng Shui Skeptic in 5 Easy Steps

In order to understand how to convert a Feng Shui skeptic, it is a good idea to create a definition for them.  A Feng Shui skeptic is someone who approaches life from a very analytical perspective.  They come from the school of “I need to see it before I believe it”.  If life events improve as a result of making changes that are related to Feng Shui, they will usually call it a coincidence rather than proof that it works.  If by some chance they do endeavor to practice Feng Shui, it will be on one gigantic condition . . . that they be provided with statistics, guarantees and a specific timeline as to how it will help and by what deadline they can expect these benefits.  One may wonder why anyone who is such a skeptic would even participate in a curiosity of this thing called Feng Shui, and I can say from experience that it tends to be because someone they love, be it a spouse, lover or friend, wants them to understand, participate, or at least not undermine, their use of it.

Now that we have  a basic definition, let’s get down to the nitty gritty and see what it takes to convert them, and if that is even necessary.  One reason that it can be difficult for people with analytical minds to grasp the subtitles of Feng Shui is because it is a system of things that are seen AND unseen.  The very words Feng and Shui translate to mean Wind and Water.  We can see water.  We can also feel it.  It is something tangible, and real.  However, wind is intangible.  It is something that has to be felt more than seen.  We can see the destruction of too much wind, as in the case of hurricanes and tornadoes, but we can’t actually SEE wind.  We can’t taste wind, or call it a certain color.  It slips right through your fingers if you try to catch it.  At best, the Feng Shui aspect of wind can only be guided or directed.

The qualities of Feng Shui that appeal to a skeptic involve the aspects of it that can be seen.  Here is a physical action that you can take.  They don’t really even need to know that the action has the potential to effect the non-physical energy pattern of something.  As long as we remember that everything is energy vibrating at different speeds, this scientific connection to Feng Shui makes sense to them.  Converting a skeptic for good is only possible if it doesn’t bump up against any of their other beliefs.   Fortunately, if the scientific connection doesn’t work, there is always the common sense approach.

Converting a Skeptic in 5 Easy Steps

1. Go for the common sense approach ~ “Hey Honey, I’d like to take the closet door off the hinges in the bathroom because it keeps banging into the other door and it is pissing me off!” ~ Now the logical person will tell you to just close the closet door after you use it so that it doesn’t bang into the other door, but logic and real life don’t always match.

2. Common sense approach part 2 ~ “I’m going all gangsta tonight and choosing a chair at the restaurant so that I can see my enemies before they try to off me.”  ~ In Feng Shui we call this being in command position, but they don’t need to know that.  Be ‘like a boss’.  Put your back against the wall and there will be no unexpected surprises!

3. Common sense approach part 3~ “Red sheets on the bed make me horny.” ~ Enough said.

4. When you are talking to them about Feng Shui, don’t use the words Feng Shui. Instead, appeal to their understanding, or lack thereof, of physics.  “Everything is energy so why not shift or guide the energy in this room to make it feel better?”

5. And finally, don’t try to convert them.  They may have some very strong beliefs and life experiences that prevent them from being able to see Feng Shui as a tool that assists life.  They may think that you are replacing your faith in a Higher Power for a faith in Feng Shui.  By being in your life, your Feng Shui skeptic is most likely creating a balance in you that helps to anchor all that unseen, Chinesey stuff with a sense of grounding that you need.  Perhaps you are helping them to open up to some esoteric ideas and concepts that their Soul is seeking as well.

The ultimate goal of life is to live it to the fullest.  Feng Shui is a tool that helps empower us with knowledge and action, trust and faith.  If you are traveling down a road that has led you to investigate the concepts of Feng Shui, it is likely that a part of your Higher Self and your own Higher Power is gently pushing you in that direction.  Everything in life happens for a reason.  When you trust that you are always being guided to discover the tools that are for your highest good, there is nothing to fear.


Why Didn’t Feng Shui Keep Me From Getting Divorced??

“You live in a world of energy. You experience and are affected by the energy around you all the time.” ~ Sanaya Roman, Soul Love

The question posed in the title above is one that I was asked recently  from a returning client, and I thought it might have some universal applications, so I am sharing it.  The client in question, invited me into her home a few years ago for a personalized Feng Shui consultation.  She had several correctable issues involving money and relationships.  At the time of her consultation, she and her husband had made several bad investment decisions, and she had discovered that he had been unfaithful to her.  Her home at that time, was an accurate mirror for the events that were occurring in her life.  A sample of these were visible in the missing areas in relationships and wealth, and other symbols of energy drains that were built in via the placement of the master bathroom and the stove/back door.

Over the next several months, she started making the changes that I had recommended.  With each one that she completed, she began to feel happier and more empowered about her life.  With each adjustment to the energy of the space of their home, the house began to reflect balance in relationships and balance in finances.  While things improved financially, the relationship did not. As the house’s energy shifted and became whole and complete, the house no longer matched the deep-seated energy of the couple’s relationship.

As we are energetically drawn to the energy of our homes, we come to understand that each place we live has gifts for us.  They are gifts of growth, awareness, and of change, but only  if we are willing to accept them.  As the energy of the house shifted, one of two things had to happen.  Either, the relationship would shift up to match the energy of the house, or it would shift out because it no longer matched the energetic frequency of the house.  In this client’s case, the result was divorce.  She sold the house, moved into a home that matched her new energy around relationships and money, and eventually found a partner whose energy matched hers.  Today, they continue to shift, and grow using Feng Shui to help them do it.


The Tale of Two Choices – Decks vs. Covered Patios

When you live in a place like Texas, where summers are akin to one version of hell, the general consensus is that a covered patio is the preferred option. Why?  Shade of course.  We will park a 1/2 mile away from any store if there is a spot of shade to hide our car under in the summer.  This same rationale holds true for our homes as well.  Shade is a commodity that helps ease the stifling 100 degree+ heat that we have come to expect here during the summer.

Even though my Texas roots go way deep, I cannot, in good faith, recommend that anyone choose a covered patio instead of a deck, regardless of their location on this planet.  My reason for this trumps the Texas heat and goes all the way to my Feng Shui roots.  In Feng Shui we have guidelines and rules that give us insights and potential outcomes.  Ideally, a house will have a completely even line across the back of it.  In other words, there will be no missing chunks, i.e. incomplete life areas.  One reason this is important is because the back of any home contains the life areas related to Wealth, Fame and Love.  Where there is a missing chunk in one of these areas, imbalance is probable.  Clearly, imbalances in other areas of the home are also important, but I consider these the Big Three, and they frequently impact our lives the most.  I have personally lived in a home with an added area that cut out the Wealth and Love areas of the house and it was no small feat to bring it back to balance!

When a house is complete in the areas of Wealth, Fame and Love, and its owners build a covered patio halfway across it, they have most likely created at least one missing area.  When this happens, it can take a year or so before the repercussions are felt, but they will be felt and they will have to be balanced in some way.  However, if a raised deck is added to the back of an otherwise complete house, as the photo below clearly shows, no missing areas are created.  Shade can be added in the form of large table umbrellas, a gazebo or a pergola.  You get all the benefits of mowing less grass, and none of the imbalances that can develop with a covered patio.  What do you do if you already have a covered patio? Well, that answer will follow in another blog!


Get Kinky & Go Deep with Your Feng Shui

All you really need to know about Feng Shui is that it knows all your secrets!  Another thing about Feng Shui is that it does not mind exposing all of these secrets to anyone who happens to walk into your home.  Your only saving grace is that very few people would know how to decipher the secrets that your home holds without a keen eye to detail.  I happen to be one of those people, and I am more than happy to teach you how to do it too.

Now, the first thing you need to do is look around for anomalies within your spaces.  Let me give you an example.  You say you want to be in a relationship, and yet, when you look in all the relationship areas of your home, you find things like the cat’s litter box, your gun collection, your extra healthy cacti plant or a nice, spiky yucca!  I’m not a rocket scientist, but none of those items seem very inviting.  In fact, on a subconscious level, they may be giving away a secret that you have not yet acknowledged within yourself.  Perhaps you aren’t as ready for a relationship as you think!

The solution is to go around and intentionally replace these anomalies with items that symbolize inviting images for relationships.  If kinky is what you like, then remove the cacti and place your copy of “50 Shades of Grey” there instead!  There are plenty of small sculpture of couples wrapped in each other’s arms.  Or, you can chose a statue of the union of  Shiva and Shakti. It is a symbol that expresses the sacredness of sexuality as a path to spiritual union.  Get creative! Whether you are kinky or spiritually deep, there is an image and a symbol that you can place around you to conjure up the type of relationship that you desire.

Now, we’ve been picking on the relationship area, but in truth, you can do this for each and every area of your home/bagua that seems to be incongruent with the type of life you desire for yourself.  In order to do this, you need to know one vital thing.  Every room in your house  has a money section, a family section, a life journey section, etc.  So this can either be a great opportunity for you, or an overwhelming burden of learning to take responsibility for your life. Let go, and let your resistance collapse into a new possible outcome!